– “Mom! Could you at least try to be normal for just this one day?” the elder of two boys implored outside a bathroom door.
– “Sorry boys. Not a chance,” their mom replied from behind the bathroom door. She was applying lipstick, firetruck red.
– “But Mom… Nobody else’s parents are dressing up at all,” the younger of the two boys whined.
– “Now I’m sure that that’s not true, but even if it was, I’m not ‘nobody else’s parents’. I am me. And I dress up,” their mom replied.
She applied mascara. Patted her hair in place. Was quite pleased with her appearance in the mirror. Opened the bathroom door.
The boys saw her enormous circle dress. Her 1950’s hairdo. They sighed in tremendous relief.
They never knew just who would appear from behind the bathroom door when their mother decided to dress up. Would she be an 18th century French noblewoman? A pious 16th century Quaker? Medieval princess or a bar wench? Chinese pirate queen? They could never guess until they saw her.
Tonight they saw she was their rock’n roll mom. The one that loved the music and the dance.
They liked her. She was fun. This evening might not be a complete disaster after all. They might even have fun themselves.
– “See?” she teased them “I’m not so bad, now am I?”
– “No, you’re not, mom,” the boys said in unison. “Sorry, mom. We love you.”
– “That’s my boys,” she smiled. “Now give your mom a kiss, and let’s go.”
The boys dutifully kissed their mom, one on each cheek. Then the three walked out the door, holding hands.
They walked the short way to their mom’s 1953 pink Cadillac. Got in, and headed towards the school. They wore no seatbelts, but got there safe and sound.
When they arrived at the school parking lot, it was the 1950’s. Elvis himself would be singing there tonight.
The boys and their rock’n roll mom had an awfully wonderful time. The boys could run around free with all the other children, completely unsupervised by any adult.
The music was amazing. The dancing was so much fun.
About halfway through the night, though, an unfortunate anomaly creeped in. Someone’s cell phone rang.
From that moment forward, all sorts of eras and locations in human history in between the dawn of time and 2214 (but no later, for some quite unfathomable reason) began to pop up all over the place.
The boys knew that this was serious.
The confined space of their school and its grounds was not designed to contain all that many eras of human history all at once. A few it could still handle, but the speed at which new years kept showing up was horrifying. Quite soon, the place would explode, taking half the continent with it.
They had to find their mom. And fast. Before it was too late to fix this.
The boys ran towards where they’d last seen their mother dancing with a neighbor. They dodged cannons, and gunfire, dragons and knights in shining armor.
Wait! Was that an actual dragon that they just dodged?
Oh dear. Other dimensions were beginning to pop up as well. Fairies, elves and orcs. Aliens, and men and women of Starfleet. Babylon Five.
The school was becoming awfully crowded, and soon it would be too late to stop the explosion. They had to find their mom, now!
Where was she? Why wasn’t she fixing this already? What the heck was going on?
They finally found their rock’n roll mom tied up in a broom closet, and gagged.
They removed the gag first, then proceeded to untie the rest of her.
– “Boys! Oh, boys, I am so sorry! It was your father, he showed up! Creeped up behind me, just as I was enjoying Elvis! He caught me unawares!”
– “Dad?” the boys looked at each other quite upset. “Oh no! What’s he doing here?”
– “Judging by the sounds I hear, destroying the world, as usual,” their mom replied. “Untie me fast! I have to fix it all, and there cannot be much time left!”
The boys well knew their mom was right. There was not much time, and she alone could save them. They finished untying her as quickly as they possibly could.
She stood up. Stepped out of the broom closet. She began casting spells. An awful lot of spells all at once.
She was using her multidimensional self as a catalyst to put everything back in order. But when she was about three quarters done, a tree suddenly struck her across her back!
The boys’ father had flung that tree at their mom, to keep her from being able to make things right.
– “You’ve messed up my plans too many times, witch!” they heard their father yell from the stairs at the other end of a long hallway. “I will not let you do so ever again!”
Their father was insane. He always had been. He had just been better at hiding it still when the boys were very small.
No more. That’s what the boys thought. No more could their father be allowed to walk free, and wreak havoc upon their lives, and on the Earth.
They looked at each other. They saw in each other’s eyes their shared determination to stop him once and for all.
The boys began to cast a spell of their own. A joint spell. One designed to take away the powers of the man who had once been a hero in their eyes. The father who had failed to be good.
The boys had never done this before. Had never cast a spell. Let alone a joint one.
It was lucky for them their father’s attention was focused on their mom.
He was pummeling her with trees. She was busy deflecting them to the best of her ability.
Around them all, the time and space anomalies were rapidly increasing once again. Soon it would be as if she’d never interfered with his plans at all. They would be blown away.
The boys had to hurry up. They really did.
Sparks flew from their hands. Green and blue.
Unintended rainbows flashed in and out of existence.
Suddenly they got it right! A huge burst of energy ran from the boys straight to their father. It encircled him. Lifted him in the air. Engulfed him in a bright, bright light. Imploded. Dropped him on the floor, unconscious.
Their mother immediately returned to the task of putting things to right. Unimpeded by any more flying trees, she swiftly put all things and people, all creatures and aliens too, back where they all belonged. Each in their own time and space and dimension.
It was exhausting work.
When she was done, their rock’n roll mom collapsed on the floor as well.
The boys ran to their mom. Were relieved to see her still conscious. She was simply too tired to stand.
It was once again the 1950’s. It was not unheard-of for a woman to faint, nor was it hard to find a few charming gentlemen to carry her out into fresh air. One promised to drive the boys and their mother home in her pink Cadillac. They gratefully accepted his offer, and home they went.
Close to their home, all three sitting in the back seat of the Cadillac, the elder of the boys asked his mom again if she could possibly just be normal for just one day. Like maybe the following day?
– “Sorry boys. No way,” their rock’n roll mom replied with the softest, most loving smile, as she hugged her boys. “Your mom does not do normal. No way. We are stuck with what we get.”
– “Well, can you at least tell us who and when you are going to be?” the younger asked.
– “No. Sorry, I would love to, but no. You see, even I don’t know until it’s time for me to dress. Like I said, we are stuck with what we get.”
She kissed both her boys on their forehead. Enjoyed the wind in her hair.
When they reached home, they thanked the man who drove them there. Then got out of the car, and holding hands, walked into their house.
This night they would sleep in the 1950’s. Who knows where they’ll be tomorrow.